These suspicions may be groundless or they may be solidly based. The main point is that they have been 'surfaced'. Perceptions are always real perceptions even when they do not reflect reality. So perceptions need to be attended to. The code is a way of expressing these unsettling perceptions. Once the code has brought the matter into the open, discussion can follow. The nature of that discussion depends on the habits and needs of those involved. The code merely sets the scene and gets things going. Overuse of code 13/5 may suggest a very insecure person who needs to be reassured all the time. It may still be better to express this through a code than through cranky behaviour.