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  • ABOUT
  • CODES
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1Pre-Code
2Attention Directing
3Action
4Difficult Situations
5Response
6 Interaction
7Information
8Youth Code
9Meetings
10Mood
11Constructed
12Connection
13Relationship
14Disengagement
15Negotiation
16Assessment
17Project Status
18Travel
13
Relationship

There are three parts to the relationship codes. The first part, relationship start, refers to the development and growth of a relationship. These are the opening phases and moves. Matters are moving fast - or slowly. Both parties are eager but also watchful. The second code is relationship continue. This is the ongoing relationship. It may have been ongoing for a long time. The third code is relationship ending. This deals with the ending of a relationship. The relationship seems to be ending. It may be possible to rescue and revive it. The relationships are essentially the relationships between people. To some extent they can also apply to relationships between corporations in business. For this purpose just choose the codes that apply most suitably. Each party may have a different view of the status of a relationship. The codes enable them to express this different perception. All the situations expressed in the codes could equally be expressed in words. Sometimes such words might seem rather blunt. The neutrality of the codes allows for a more precise expression of view. Words can be used as well as the codes: 'It seems to me that we are getting close to code __.' 'Would you agree that code __ would be the most applicable?' 'Are we really in code __?' It is possible that the situation is best described by more than one code. 'We seem to be somewhere between code __ and code __.' 'There is a bit of code __ and a bit of code __ and even a bit of code __.' 'Matters keep oscillating between code __ and code __.' In all events the codes can provide a starting point for discussions and insights into a relationship.

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  • 13/1
    This relationship does not seem to be going anywhere. If we cannot move forward then I suggest we break it off.
  • 13/2
    This relationship has stagnated. It is getting boring, the spark is missing. It neds some investment of energy.
  • 13/3
    Things are going very well. Things are getting better and better. I am very happy with the relationship. I want to thank you.
  • 13/4
    We have become complacent. We seem to take each other for granted. The relationship is drifting along. Maybe that is good enough
  • 13/5
    Things seem to have changed. I have noticed a change in your behaviour. I need to know what is going on, and where I stand.
  • 13/6
    There are some important things that we need to talk about. They may be positive or negative. But we do need a time to talk..
  • 13/7
    What is the problem? What has gone wrong? What are you upset about? I do not understand what is going on. Please explain.
  • 13/8
    This is just a temporary hiccup. This is a very minor problem. Don't blow it up into a major crisis. Keep a sense of perspective
  • 13/9
    I am completely prepared to admit my fault over this matter. I am sorry. I apologize. I am prepared to take the blame.
  • 13/10
    There you go again. Insisting on having your own way. You cannot always have your own way. You are apt to be a bit of a bully.
  • 13/11
    I feel we are making real progress and moving forward to overcome the difficulties. Thank you for that.
  • 13/12
    You know I do not like that. It irritates me. If you are not doing it on purpose then you are being careless and inconsiderate.
  • 13/13
    Don't overplay the victim. Don't overplay the martyr role.

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